Gaming Horror – it's a Game Dev's Life

This “quote” came into my mind yesterday. I don’t know if it holds any truth … i think it does but then, i haven’t actually thought about it. It’s more a gut feeling. Am i right if i’m thinking that the greatest games come either from small but dedicated teams, or a team lead by a game-designing maestro – and a passionate leader – and an occassional dictator? And why do i have to think Peter … Peter … hmmm … english guy with a french surname. Darn, can’t remember.

Yet another thought … i’ve been doing that a lot lately btw. All in preparation for a possible GDC talk. So, here’s the thought: don’t lock yourself in, or out (no, i’m not talking about forgetting your keys). You may think you do the best of your work alone. And while that may be true, it is absolutely critical to balance that with collaboration, participation and socializing. Easier said than done … more often or not, you can’t lock yourself out to get work done because you’re working with others, sharing a room or even a hall. You have basically no way to escape the collaboration, participation or socializing that happens around you, distracts you. Since you don’t get any quality work done you get anxious, easily upset, and eventually frustrated or even depressed. I’ve been there. In turn, you’re trying to avoid that as much as possible (been there too) so you end up with less and less collaboration, participation or socializing. It’s a downward spiral, behold! Don’t look into the light!

Share your passion! I was wondering if i should name my talk “Share your passion!” even though i’m not even sure what kind of message i really want to convey, or how. But it feels like a good start. It’s just … i don’t think i showed passion for a long time, not for a prolonged time certainly. So it’s also a reminder and a reinforcement to myself to do that more often. Stay true to your words. Put my money where my mouff iff. Ippf rylly haad to takf wipf a moufful off monee!

Passion is contagious! True. The bad thing is, people can also get really passionate about all the wrong things. Blow them out of proportion. It too ends up infecting people, spreading like a virus, hurting morale and motivation. It’s a double edged sword, swung to the wrong side by doubt and pessimism. So for a leader, or any role model, it’s really important to be passionate in just the right ways. Jesus Christ, that’s f**king hard! But someone’s gotta do it. After all, we’re but humans and have to learn our ropes. I believe the best leader is both a caring teacher and a motivated student. If in doubt, inquire! And don’t squeeze out cheesy motivational speeches, yikes! Yay, doing great, huray, gratz, we love you all, see you next year.

Blogging. In a way it’s what i did 15 years ago on Compuserve. Putting myself out there. Earning respect. Getting feedback. Being recognized. Almost inadvertently summoning opportunities. Here i go again!

“I was just following orders.” … an excuse we know from soldiers. But, is that something that also applies to (large) game development teams? Not happy with a design decision but implementing it anyway? Don’t like the art style but still drawing those awkward squiggles? Questioning yourself why you’re doing this but still doing it? And how seductive is a steady income, stock options and a 9-5 job really? Enough to let all the passion go and just do yer frackin’ job?

It really matters who you’re working with. So obvious, right? But how does it matter? Not so easy. And typically, people around you aren’t all that bad – it’s just that you have to work with them. And you got work to do, too. So you would rather avoid them, instead of cooperating? Or on the contrary, how about collaborating with the people at work because they’re also your friends after work? How much better is that? … Of course team size matters, too. On a small team, you even go to dinner every day with the people you don’t like. You’re still connected because you’re all in it together. On a large team, you can basically just do two things: spread yourself thin, meaning keep shallow connections with lots of people – or maintain strong relationships with only few people, creating either a jelled team or a clique of jerks – depending on how you’re seen from the outside. And what the team/clique thinks overrides anything the company, or management, desires from you. So it’s crucial to build small jelled teams and align them with the business goal(s). But how? Ah yeah, see above: must … have … great … leaders. Will pay money. Go directly to hell. Do not collect tax. I should mention that it’s really incredibly hard to break people out of habits. It can’t be forced, it can only be encouraged and must be nurtured. Ever tried that on yourself? A diet maybe? Quit smoking? Switching from car to bike?

I once had passion for computer hardware. Building computers and fixing them. I worked part-time for six years in a small shop with very limited budget. The costumers were basically “hand-picked”. We got to buy the hardware cheap and learned what was useful and what wasn’t without having to buy it ourselves. It was fun and a learning experience for the most part. I then worked for a company which had their own two-story office building. They sold computers mainly to institutions like schools. They had an amazing repair shop with all the tools and plugs and spare parts you can imagine. They even had an assembly line and a warehouse, and a super-hot blond desk lady everyone was secretly obsessing about. I got to drive through half of germany for weeks on end just basically re-plugging gfx cards or replacing memory sticks and if that didn’t help, bringing the computers back home, occassionally staying on the road in hotels of my choosing. I made a lot of money from paid overtime i spent in traffic jams listening to the radio. I quit after just 6 months to start my career as a Gameboy game developer.

One word of caution: don’t suck too bad at your job, no matter how bad you feel about it, how much you’re not motivated right now, how much you’re pissed off because of your boss, coworker or the stupid bugs that only you are getting. How to do that is anyone’s guess. I don’t have a success formula for that, other than: don’t suck!

You are not the greatest, either! Keep that in mind. No matter how much you believe in what you do, always be open for suggestions. Don’t try to convince people, listen to them, incorporate some of their suggestion in your work where it doesn’t hurt or matter, then keep doing what you believe in. It’s the best way to make both sides happy. But again: no success formula for that. How do detergent companies and bio yoghurt companies come up with their formulas? Ah, i remember now … they pull them out of thin air and make them sound good by applying effective-sounding words like “bio” or “dura” or “mono” or “pH neutral” or other such things. It makes your gut bacteria go crazy just to hear them. Hmmmm ….

Tell people only what they need to know. You have no time and lots of people to inform and also more important things on your mind. It’s understandable you want to get this over with quickly. The game needs to move forward and the decision is righteous and sufficiently researched. Have an answer prepared for any critical question that may pop up. Just don’t consult with the people who are affected by the decision before you make it. That will just slow you down. This was sarcasm. Or was it cynism? I always get the two mixed up.

Games have a set of defined rules. The best games are said to be easy to learn and hard to master. Teams, on the other hand, have no set of defined rules. Developing great games is hard to learn and almost impossible to master. Wait a minute, don’t we have a code of conduct? Naming guidelines? Coding conventions? Acceptable behavior talks? Sexual offense education? Disciplinary actions? Fixed meeting schedules? Rules for properly flushing the toilet and refilling toilet paper after each use? Don’t fool yourself: how often are these rules broken? More than they are followed is my best guess. And that affects only the team … did you know that great games are sometimes made by breaking the rules at the right times? You should be happy you’re having such a team of non-conformists.

On a related note, i can wholeheartedly recommend reading this Book excerpt on Gamasutra: How Game Developers Choose Leaders